How to train our young daughters to wear/love Hijaab

by Asma bint Shameem

NO act of worship is fardh on kids until they reach puberty.

🍃The Prophet ﷺ said:

“The pen is lifted from three people: a sleeping person until he awakens, a child until he becomes an adult, and an insane person until he regains his sanity.”

In another narration, the Prophet ﷺ said, 

“A young boy until he reaches puberty.” 

(al-Tirmidhī- saheeh by al-Albaani)

For girls that means when she starts her menstruation.

But we should start training our daughters early.

The sooner we start, the stronger the foundation.

That’s why the although prayer is not fardh on children until they reach the age of puberty, the Prophet ﷺ encouraged us to make them pray from the age of seven.

🍃The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old, and smack them (lightly) if they do not pray when they are 10 years old, and separate them in their beds.”

(Abu Dawood -saheeh by

al-Albaani)

🍃Shaikh Ibn Uthaymeen said regarding this hadeeth:

“The Prophet ﷺ commanded us to tell our children to pray when they are seven years old, and to smack them (lightly) if they do not pray when they are ten years old, even though they are not obliged to do that yet, so that they may be “trained” in doing acts of worship and obedience and may get used to them, so that it will be easy for them to do that after they grow up and it will be dear to them.

The same applies to all matters that are blameworthy; young children should not get used to them even though they are not yet under any obligation, because otherwise they will get used to them when they grow up and will enjoy indulging in them.”

(Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb, 11/386)

So if we want our young daughters to wear hijaab and LOVE hijaab, my advice is to start as early when they’re four or five. Or even earlier, depending on the understanding and maturity of the child.

Always dress her modestly.

Don’t let her wear sleeveless shirts or short dresses even if she’s very young.

Always put on long pants.

And if she does wear dresses or skirts as a little girl, put on thick leggings underneath.

Don’t ever let her wear just a dress, with nothing underneath but her underwear.

Read to her stories about little girls and Hijaab, and how much they love to wear it.

Then as she grows little bit older like 7 or 8 or so, let her practice wearing Hijaab whenever she goes out from time to time.

Reward her every time she wears Hijaab.

Praise her in front of her father, grandparents, other family members and friends for wearing hijaab and dressing modestly.

Take her shopping with you to buy nice colorful hijaabs for her and let her pick it out.

Be excited about it and make it something fun.

Get rid of the “you-better-wear-this-OR-ELSE!” attitude.

Have a very positive attitude about wearing hijaab instead of just “making” her wear it or having a grim stern approach.

Don’t ever make the Hijaab seem like a “burden” on you or on her.

Be a good role model for her and wear the Hijaab yourself properly.

And show, with your good attitude and commitment to Hijaab, how much this is important for you.

Remember actions speak louder than words.

Talk to her frequently about the importance of Hijaab, its obligation on Muslim women, its benefits and rewards....

-How beautiful Hijaab is...

-How it protects us....

-How it gives us respect

-How Allaah loves those who wear Hijaab....

-How the righteous women before us wore Hijaab...

Then once she’s ten or so, she should start wearing it most of the time.

This way when she does get her menses and hit puberty, wearing Hijaab would not be anything “alien” or “weird” to her.

And she’ll effortlessly start wearing it once it becomes mandatory for her and she’ll adapt to it easily.

Do remember that “Hijaab” is not to just cover the head; but to also wear loose, modest clothing and to BEHAVE with hayaa.

Also make sure your daughter has company of good Muslim girls, as friends are a major influence at this age.

Lastly, make a lot of duaa for your daughter to keep her strong in her faith and steadfast in obeying Allaah.

May Allaah protect our daughters and enable them to wear Hijaab for the sake of Allaah.

And Allaah knows best