How to Manage your Anger, the Islaamic Way

by Asma bint Shameem

Anger by itself is not unnatural.

However, if one gets angry for reasons other than for the sake of Allaah, it can lead to many problems.

The Prophet ﷺ described cures for this "disease" and ways to limit its effects, among which are the following:

1. Seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan:

Allaah said:

“And if an evil whisper comes to you from Shaytaan, then seek refuge with Allaah” [al-A’raaf 7:200]

Sulayman ibn Sard said:

"I was sitting with the Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam

and two men were slandering one another. One of them was red in the face, and the veins on his neck were standing out. The Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam

said, ‘I know a word which, if he were to say it, what he feels would go away. If he said

"I seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan," what he feels (i.e., his anger) would go away.’" (al-Bukhaari)

2. Keep Quiet:

The Prophet ﷺ said:

"If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent." (Ahmad; Saheeh al-Jaami’)

The angry person may lose self control and utter words of Kufr, utter curses, the word of divorce, hit others etc.

So keeping quiet would avoid all that.

3. Get out of the situation you are in:

One time Abu Dharr radhi Allaahu anhu was watering his camels and someone made him angry.

He was standing, so he sat down, then he laid down.

Someone asked him, "O Abu Dharr, why did you sit down then lie down?"

He said: "The Messenger of Allaah Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam said:

"If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so his anger will go away; if it does not go away, let him lie down."

(Ahmad - Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 694)

4. Remember the advice of the Prophet ﷺ:

A man said to the Prophet ﷺ:

"Advise me."

He said, "Do not become angry."

The man repeated his request several times, and each time the Prophet ﷺ told him, "Do not become angry."

(al-Bukhaari)

5. Remember the rewards of controlling your anger:

The Prophet ﷺ said:

"Do not become angry and Paradise will be yours." (Tabaraani-Saheeh)

🍃And he ﷺ said:

"Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allaah will call him before all of mankind on the Day of Resurrection, and will let him choose of the Hoor al-’Ayn whoever he wants."

(Abu Dawud, 4777, and others; hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami, 6518)

6. Remember the reward for forgiving others and force them:

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Allaah will not increase a person who forgives others except in honor.” (Muslim).

7. Know that resisting anger is one of the signs of taqwaa:

One of the characteristics of the ones Allaah loves is that they….

"spend (in Allaah’s Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, [they] repress anger, and [they] pardon men; verily, Allaah loves al-muhsinoon (the good-doers)." [Aal ‘Imraan 3:134]

". . . when they are angry, they forgive." [al-Shooraa 42:47]

8. Listen to reminders:

A person may get angry, but the true Mu’min is the one, when reminded, will remember Allaah and suppress his anger.

Ibn ‘Abbaas radhi Allaahu anhumaa reported that a man said to Omar radhi Allaahu anhu:

"O son of al-Khattaab, you are not giving us much and you are not judging fairly between us."

Umar radhi Allaahu anhu was so angry that he was about to attack the man, but al-Hurr ibn Qays, who was one of those present, said: "O Ameer al-Mu’mineen, Allaah said to His Prophet ﷺ ‘Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish’ [al-A’raaf 7:199].

This man is one of the foolish."

By Allaah, ‘Umar could go no further after al-Hurr had recited this aayah to him, and he was a man who was careful to adhere to the Book of Allaah.” (al-Bukhaari).

9. Remember the bad effects of anger:

We’ve all seen it and we’ve all heard it.

An angry person may do things in his anger that he will regret for ever.

It is possible that he may go out of control; he could hit others and injure them, destroy possessions or even kill someone. He could utter divorce to his wife in a fit of rage and then regret it for the rest of his life. And being angry at your children unnecessarily could permanently damage them psychologically and emotionally.

10. Make Duaa’:

Ask Allaah to help you control your anger.

One of the du’aa’s of the Prophet ﷺ was:

اللهم بعلمك الغيب وقدرتك على الخلق أحيني ما علمت الحياة خيراً لي ، وتوفني إذا علمت الوفاة خيراً لي ، اللهم وأسألك خشيتك في الغيب والشهادة ، وأسألك كلمة الإخلاص في الرضا والغضب ، وأسألك القصد في الفقر والغنى وأسألك نعيماً لا ينفد ، وقرة عين لا تنقطع ، وأسألك الرضا بعد القضاء ، وأسألك برد العيش بعد الموت ، أسألك لذة النظر إلى وجهك والشوق إلى لقائك ، في غير ضراء مضرّ ة ولا فتنة مضلّة الله زينا بزينة الإيمان واجعلنا هداة مهتدين

"O Allaah, by Your knowledge of the Unseen and Your power over Your creation, keep me alive for as long as You know life is good for me, and cause me to die when You know death is good for me. O Allaah, I ask You to make me fear You in secret and in public, and I ask You to make me speak the truth in times of contentment and of anger. I ask You not to let me be extravagant in poverty or in prosperity. I ask You for continuous blessings, and for contentment that does not end. I ask You to let me accept Your decree, and for a good life after death. I ask You for the joy of seeing Your face and for the longing to meet You, without going through diseases and misguiding fitnah (trials). O Allaah, adorn us with the adornment of faith and make us among those who are guided. Praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds."

(an-Nasaa’i; saheeh by al-Albaani)

11. Seek professional help if needed, to control and manage your anger.

And Allaah knows best