Etiquette of Joking….from an Islaamic Perspective

By Asma bint Shameem

Alhamdulillaah, our religion is perfect and it has set guidelines for everything, in every walk of life.

And that includes joking.

However there are certain guidelines to follow, according to the Sunnah, when it comes to joking, laughing and having fun.

1. MAKE SURE you don’t make fun of any aspect of Islaam

Jokes should not involve Aayaat of the Qur’aan, hadeeth, Jannah or Jahannum or any other aspect of Islaam.

Unfortunately, some people make jokes about the aayaat of the Qur’aan, the Prophets, angels, etc or they make fun of the Hijaab, the beard, etc.

This is the most dangerous as it can make a person a disbeliever and throw him out of the fold of Islaam, EVEN IF YOU ARE ONLY JOKING.

🍃Allaah says:

“If you ask them, they declare: ‘We were only talking idly and joking.’ Say: ‘Was it at Allaah, and His verses and His Messenger that you were mocking? ’Make no excuse; you disbelieved after you had believed” [al-Tawbah:65-66]

🍃The Prophet ﷺ said:

“A slave (of Allaah) would utter a word, without paying attention to it, which would result in him going down into the Hellfire further than the distance between the east and the west.” (Saheeh Muslim).

🍃Shaikh Al-‘Uthaymeen said:

“One who mocks Allaah, His verses, His signs or His Messengers is a disbeliever because this action nullifies belief.”

So the sister in the Niqaab is NOT A NINJAA and the brother who shortens his pants or lengthens his beard is NOT A NERD!

2. NEVER joke about something that is HARAAM

Some people, especially the youth living in the western society tend to take the things that are Haraam too lightly and something to joke about.

For example, they make jokes about a person being GAY or being ‘high’, having committed zinaa, etc.

Subhaan Allaah!

We forget that these are things among the WORST in the sight of Allaah and bring on WRATH of Allaah and His CURSE! These are certainly NOT things to joke about.

3. Do NOT LIE when joking

If it involves lying then this kind of joking is not allowed.

🍃The Prophet ﷺ said:

"Woe to the one who speaks and tells a lie in order to make the people laugh at it. Woe to him. Then again, woe to him." (Abu Dawud 4990; saheeh by Al-Albaani in Saheeh Abu Dawud, 4990)

Rather, say ONLY that which is true:

The Prophet ﷺ used to joke but he would only speak the truth.

🍃Someone asked the Prophet ﷺ:

“Do you joke with us?”

He said:

“I do, but I only say that which is true” (at-Tirmidhi 1990, al-Bukhaari, Adab al-Mufrad; saheeh by al-Albaani)

4. Don’t make jokes to make ‘FUN’ of people

Be careful that your joking does not hurt anybody’s feelings or harms them in any way.

So don’t make those snide remarks or wink behind their backs..

🍃Allaah says:

“O you who believe! Let not a group ridicule another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it to insult one’s brother after having Faith” [Hujuraat:11]

5. Don’t laugh if someone slips or falls or is afflicted with something

🍃The Prophet ﷺ said:

"A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He does not wrong him.

He does not fail him [when he needs him].

He does not lie to him.

And he does not show contempt for him.

Piety is here" and he pointed to his chest three times. "

It is enough of evil for a person to hold his brother Muslim in contempt.

All of a Muslim is inviolable to another Muslim: his blood, his wealth and his honor." (Muslim)

6. Never scare anybody while joking or otherwise

🍃The Prophet ﷺ said:

“It is not permissible for a Muslim to frighten another Muslim.’” (Abu Dawood 5004; saheeh by al-Albaani)

7. Joking should not involve backbiting

Don’t ever joke about others when they are not there, even if you ‘think’ they wouldn’t mind, as that would be considered backbiting.

🍃The Prophet ﷺ said:

“[Backbiting is] you’re mentioning about your brother something that he dislikes.” (Muslim)

8. Beware of excessive laughing and joking

Don’t be like the one who jokes ALL the time.

The scholars said that the amount of joking should be like the amount of salt in one’s food.

That’s because too much laughing and joking makes the heart hard, distracts one from the remembrance of Allaah and makes you lose respect.

🍃The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Do not laugh too much, for laughing too much deadens the heart.” (Al-Adab al-Mufrad 253; saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami)

🍃Umar ibn al-Khattaab radhi Allaahu anhu said:

“Whoever laughs too much or jokes too much loses respect, and whoever persists in doing something will be known for it.”

🍃 An-Nawawi said:

“The scholars said: The kind of joking that is not allowed is when one goes to extremes in joking and persists in that, for it provokes laughter, leads to hardheartedness, and distracts people from remembering Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala and from focusing on their religious duties.

In many cases, it also leads to causing offence and development of grudges, and it undermines dignity and respect.

As for joking that is free of such elements, that is what is permissible, and that is what the Messenger of Allaah used to do.

He ﷺ only used to do that on rare occasions, when it served a purpose, or to comfort the one addressed and put him at ease. There is nothing wrong with that at all; rather it is Sunnah and is encouraged, if it is of this type." (Al-Adhkar, p. 377)

9. Choose appropriate times and places for your jokes

Some people don’t consider the time or place for joking and do so indiscriminately and at inappropriate moments.

There is a time and place for everything.

For example, what might be amusing at a picnic or at the dinner table might not be so amusing in the middle of a Halaqah.

🍃Sufyaan ibn ‘Uyaynah said:

“….. it (joking) is Sunnah, but only for those who know how to do it and do it at the appropriate time.”

10. Use appropriate language

Some people resort to immoral or obscene language when joking around, even though under ‘normal’ circumstances they would not even think of using such words.

🍃The Prophet ﷺ said:

“The Muslim does not slander, curse, speak obscenely or speak rudely.” (Tirmidhi--saheeh by al-Albaani).

11. Acknowledge people’s status

Some people may joke with everyone indiscriminately, but scholars and the elders have special positions and rights, so you have to be aware of the status of the person with whom you are dealing.

You should also not joke with people whom you don’t know or who won’t understand, or it may lead to misunderstandings and unpleasantness.

‘🍃Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez said:

“Fear joking, for it is folly and generates grudges.”

And Allaah knows best.